Asteroid Valentine (447) Through the Houses

Asteroid Valentine (447) isn't just another mundane space rock orbiting the Sun 🌞; it was discovered on October 27, 1899, by the eagle-eyed French astronomer Auguste Charlois 👀🇫🇷. Standing out from the crowd of generic asteroids adrift in the cosmic expanse, this one boasts some serious pizzazz, seemingly nodding to Saint Valentine himself—the icon of all things mushy and romantic 💘, immortalized by legends and the gooey celebrations of Valentine's Day. Bearing the name Valentine, it's no shocker this asteroid has turned into the cosmic hotspot 🔥 for unraveling the enigmas of pulse-racing obsession. It's like the universe's own cupid 🏹💖, laying bare the types of swooners you magnetize and their lovestruck shenanigans when they're utterly smitten with you.

❤️‍🔥 1st House: In the 1st house, you attract the “Shadow Follower”. This individual is mesmerized by your very presence and seems to be wherever you are, blending into the background but always watching. They admire everything about you, from the way you walk to the way you talk, often mimicking your style or interests in an attempt to close the gap between you. Be aware you may attract narcissists.

❤️‍🔥 2nd House: When Valentine graces your 2nd house, it brings the “Lavish Obsessor” into your life. This person showers you with gifts and material symbols of affection, believing that the key to your heart is through extravagant displays of wealth. Their obsession lies in owning the best, and that includes their relationship with you. They see you as a prize to be won, a luxury to be possessed. You are the ultimate trophy.

❤️‍🔥 3rd House: In the 3rd house, the “Conversation Hacker” is drawn to you. This individual hangs on your every word, obsessively analyzing texts and conversations for hidden meanings. They're likely to deep dive into your social media history, bringing up topics or inside jokes you barely remember, demonstrating an unsettling level of interest in your thoughts and communications. I wouldn’t be surprised to see a lot of weirdos in your DM’s.

❤️‍🔥 4th House: With Valentine in the 4th house, you attract the “Home Invasion Romantic”. This partner wants to be so involved in your life that they overstep boundaries, wanting to move in too soon or redecorate your space to suit what they believe is best for "us." They're fixated on creating a domestic bliss that you didn't sign up for, insisting on being your ultimate comfort but in a way that feels more invasive than nurturing. 

❤️‍🔥 5th House:  When Valentine visits your 5th house, it brings the “Jealous Admirer” into your love life. This type is intoxicated by your creativity and zest for life but is also fiercely envious of anyone else who shares your attention. They want to be your muse and your audience, the only one you perform for, often leading to dramatic displays of jealousy that can turn any romantic scene into a thriller. Fatal Attraction VIBES.

❤️‍🔥 6th House: In the 6th house, you draw the “Routine Stalker”. This individual is obsessed with your daily routines and habits, often rearranging their schedule to "coincidentally" bump into you. They take note of your likes, dislikes, and even your coffee order, using this information to craft themselves into the perfect partner, always just one step away from being too much in sync with your life. This placement can turn dangerous, watch your back.

❤️‍🔥 7th House: Valentine in the 7th house attracts the “Binding Contract Lover”. This person sees your relationship as a deal that's been sealed, treating every interaction like a contractual obligation forever. They're intensely committed to the idea of "us against the world," often pushing for commitments or declarations of love that feel more like chains than choices. Those with this placement are likely to cheat on long-term partners, unsure how to escape unhappy relationships.

❤️‍🔥 8th House: With Valentine in the 8th house, the “Soul Chain Romantic” is drawn to you. This lover believes in a connection that transcends the physical, claiming a depth of bond that feels more like a possession. They're drawn to your darkness and secrets, wanting to merge in ways that erase individual boundaries, but this is a placement that also draws sexually deviant partners your way.

❤️‍🔥 9th House: In the 9th house, you attract the “Obsessive Quester”. This partner is obsessed with the idea of you as their ultimate quest, an adventure to be conquered. They're drawn to your beliefs and philosophies but twist them to fit their narrative of a grand love story, often pushing you into roles and situations that feel more epic in their head than in reality. Expect a lot of love bombing followed by ghosting with this placement. 

❤️‍🔥 10th House: Valentine in the 10th house brings the “Public Claimer” into your orbit. This individual is obsessed with how the relationship looks to the outside world, constantly posting, tagging, and declaring their love for you in very public ways. They're more interested in the status of being with you than the actual connection, often putting on a show of affection that feels performative rather than genuine.

❤️‍🔥 11th House: In the 11th house, Valentine attracts the “Ideological Chameleon”, someone who obsessively aligns with your hopes, dreams, and social circles. They seamlessly adopt your interests and ideologies, aiming to become your perfect match. This partner integrates so deeply into your world that they begin to mirror you, losing their individuality in the process. They are harmless though, usually truly loving you. Just don’t break their heart, they might end up dating your BFF out of revenge.

❤️‍🔥 12th House: With Valentine in the 12th house, you draw in the “Phantom Soulmate”. This partner feels a deep, unseen connection to you, believing they knew you in a past life. They love from the shadows, perhaps through anonymous gestures or silent admiration, convinced of a spiritual link between you. This is actually my favorite Valentine placement, think of the Gomez Adams to Morticia.

xoxo astro ash

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